November 2007 Archives
A newspaper in Southern Maryland is holding a contest for the first person to kill themselves while driving drunk this holiday season. The grand prize is a free coffin.
This won't encourage some lonely, depressed guy who is wasted during the holidays to wrap his car around a telephone pole, will it?
Christ, even if this is tongue-in-cheek, this is some stupid shit right here.
Tom Osborne named himself interim head coach recently so that he can hit the recruiting trail.
Right now, everyone is praying to God in Nebraska that he cannot find a suitable replacement and just take the job himself. Don't think it's going to happen though. Coach Osborne's getting up there, but it would be interesting to see if he would have the same touch that he had in the previous years.
C'mon Coach...come back for three years, try to build the program, and let's see what happens!
There's a commotion being caused in New York because an artist posted pictures of fake mugshots of several Republican bigwigs because they made incriminating comments about Iraq.
Look at the picture of George the Jackass. The pose is hilarious, with his "Now how in the hell did I get to be President" look that he features so well.
There's a Democrat display of this coming soon, just so the right-wingers won't cry too hard.
Looks like a new fad may be online confessions.
Now, I'm not a Catholic, but this still seems wrong to my "Protestant-that-will-burn-in-hell" eyes. These websites are damn sure not going to make people feel better, and all that they will become is something for people to read when they are bored, then feel holier-than-thou that they are not as bad off as others.
Confessing to God should be something that is between you and God, maybe with a preacher (I guess Catholic people call them priests-sorry Jaime) as a mediator. Not something for everyone to see.
As a humerous footnote, there was a sample of one lady who says that she does not love her husband any more and wants to cheat on him. It doesn't matter who, she will bop anyone. How many horny losers do you think tried to find her private e-mail address or private message her to get a little tail on the side?
Sometimes I just cannot believe that God made so many stupid people. Why God, why? Why would you make a man who would try to open a bank account with a million-dollar BILL?
The hilarious thing is this guy tried to bitch because he did not get his way. The bank would not do it. I work in a retail environment for the time being, and I have had to deal with some real morons. Nothing like this guy though, he should be put in jail so that he does not spread his stupidity around the world.
Mike Solari, the Kansas City Chiefs "offensive coordinator" (I use that terms loosely and in quotations) has FINALLY taken some the blame for the lack of offense that Kansas City has displayed throughout this pitiful season.
But, in true Car Peterson/Herm Edwards/Mike Solari jackass fashion, they are also blaming the players that do not execute the plays that they run.
Well Mikey, is it the players fault that you run the same damn three plays over and over? Is it their fault that instead of going for a first down and 1st and 20, you run three straight times and punt the ball like a bitch? Is it their fault that on 3rd and 20 near the end of two games, you have run a draw play and not even tried to pick up a first down? No, it is not.
All three of these horses' asses need to be gone in 2008.
Turns out Phil Kline may not be a truthful person. The Johnson County DA (who needs to live in Johnson County to have his position) has been renting a $400 a month pile of dung apartment to keep up a front and living in Topeka with his wife.
This doesn't really bother me as much as I guess it bothers some people. Yes...he should live in which the county he has been elected to work in, but I'm not too concerened about it. I'm more concerned about the "front" he has put up, to me that is lying. Someone in the position of DA should probably not be a liar.
Sorry faithful readers, haven't gotten around to posting lately. I just got Assassin's Creed and Madden NFL '08 for the Playstation 3, so my free time has been sucked from me.
Going to start posting religiously again.
Celebrity shitbag Britney Spears is now blaming a prescription drug for her recent failed drug test, which was positive for amphetamines. The only problem is she tried blaming two other prescription drugs before it, both of which do not show up on court-ordered screenings. Now's she's saying her ADD medication caused it.
Britney, Britney, Britney...you've gone from being every 14-18 year old boy's wet dream to being a dumb, tweaked-out hoebag who runs red lights at busy intersections...with your kids in the back seat!!!!! Get over yourself, you are done.
Sylvester Stallone says that the fourth edition of Rambo will be set in Burma, where Sly will be helping some relief workers on a mission to deliver supplies to refugees. Stallone says that Rambo has spent the past two decades living in the region as a hermit, one who has shed patriotism, lost his faith and given up on humanity. But these relief workers somehow touch a nerve in him and he decides to help them.
Stallone also said that it will be a return to the roots, of sorts, of the Rambo character. Basically, what he's saying were that the first two kicked ass (which they did), but the third one sucked (which it did), now he's trying to make the fourth one good again.
I'm not sure if I can see Rambo as a hermit, but I'll be shelling out 10 bucks to watch this movie just because it's Rambo man! It's f'ing Rambo!
Just as I was starting to warm up to Hillary Clinton, she goes and does something stupid like plant questions at a campaign event in Iowa.
Now I'm positive that almost every candidate does this, but she was stupid enough to get caught, and even stupider to admit it.
One thing that amuses me is that now the Republicans are saying that we should not elect a dishonest president. Well, then why the hell was Bush ever re-elected with all of the bullshit his administration has spewed over the last 8 years?
Every politician is a liar. That's just the way it is. Republicans just tell worse ones.
Finally! Herm Edwards has gotten tired of watching Damon Huard lead one of the most boring offensive attacks in Kansas City Chiefs history and decided to do something about it. Brodie Croyle has been named the starter for the almost certain ass-whipping that we will receive this Sunday from Indianapolis.
As bad as the Chiefs are, I do not totally blame Damon Huard for how much they have sucked. He's constantly had the crap beaten out of him because of inferior offensive line play. However, if Croyle is our future, we need to play him now and sink or swim with him. At 4-5, Kansas City can still make a playoff run and in the worst-case scenario, we will get a high draft pick.
This article is pretty right-on about how Croyle is in a tough spot right now.
Jones soda will unveil some new holiday flavors in time for the Christmas season.
Sounds nasty! They are also the soda of the Seattle Seahawks and have some more delicious sounding flavors.
A Lincoln, Nebraska mother was fined $1,000 and sentenced to 10 days in jail for driving her 12-year old daughter and her friends to toilet paper a teacher's house in May. The mother claims that she thought they were just going to "TP" the house, but they smashed eggs against a teacher’s house, spelled out vulgarities on her sidewalk in pancake syrup, taped tampons on the doors, poured dishwashing liquid over the steps and poured household chemicals over the lawn.
Ok, WHAT THE HELL LADY? How did you not know what they were going to do, did they all just have materials stashed in their oversized coats or what?
The mother also claimed that if she wouldn't have taken them, they would have gotten there somehow, even though it was after midnight and the house was across town. Guess we'll just have to add this one to the dipshit files.
There's certainly some interesting information here, especially about not going to pubs, clubs, or any of the like and treating wives with respect. In all of the mafioso movies that I have watched, they are always going to the strip clubs they own or cheating on their old ladies. Of course, I'm sure the lifestyle we see in those works are very glamorized and not completely true.
I've always wanted to see the 10 Crack Commandments that the Chambers Brothers gang used during the 1980s in Detroit, but can't find them. Every time I Google them, that Notorious B.I.G. song is the only result I get.
They must take their birthday celebrations at school pretty seriously in the U.K. A lady wanted to send a "gorilla gram" to her son at school for his 16th birthday, but instead there was a mixup and a stripper was sent in a policewoman uniform.
After whipping the "bad boy", the stripper put a dog collar around his neck and led him around class before cranking up the Britney Spears and gettin' buck naked.
Most celebs at one time in their career get that ultimate status symbol: a stalker. Conan O'Brien did it better than anyone before though, somehow getting a Catholic priest to stalk him for over a year.
So, Padre, what's the deal? Get a little too looped on communion wine and decide to stalk someone you used to go to school with?
In the "Wow! That's messed up!" news of the day, Mr. James Macnair of Clarkstown, NY, was recently charged with breaking into a church and using their telephone to call a sex hotline. Pretty sure when this guy passes away and goes to the Pearly Gates, he's getting a free rollercoaster ride straight to Hell.
What really gets me is the fact that Mr. Macnair did this not once, but twice. The first time, the lady let him go. So, WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU GO BACK AND DO IT AGAIN? Christians may be all about turning the other cheek, but I think they probably look down on whacking the weasel while on the phone in a church nursery.
Hope it was worth it man. Now you are the laughingstock of the whole United States.
So...basically, what we have is a race between one lady that is perceived as a cold, calculating bitch (Hillary is starting to grow on me, I'm more of an Obama fan though) with her opponent being a scumbag. Rolling Stone published an article about Rudy back in May exposing him for the sack of shit that he is. Honestly, if anyone is thinking of thinking of voting for this weasel, read this article.
This guy is just like Bush, a politician that was worthless until the terrorists bombed the towers. They show up to the site, do some news conferences, make some tough talk, and all of the sudden they are Dwight F'n Eisenhower ready to conquer the beach at Normandy. Now if anyone disagrees with them, they just bring up 9/11 and say that terrorists are the only ones who will not follow their logic.
Do we really need another four years of this?
This lady in Iowa is selling 100 ounces of her breast milk for $200.
Besides a fetishist, who in the hell is going to pay $200 for this? The article says that she has no no serious offers, and I'm willing to bet that she won't get any. People will try to sell anything these days, I guess that's the beauty of capitalism.
Well, haven't posted in a couple of days because I was in mourning from the way the Kansas City Chiefs (my favorite team) pissed it down their legs versus Green Bay on Sunday.
This article from Bob Gretz explains it all.
I just don't understand how we lost that one. I guess it just shows how winners like Favre seperate themselves from losers like the Chiefs. We just didn't get it done during crunch time.
Another interesting note is that Packers kicker Mason Crosby was available when we took kicker Justin "The Bitch" Medlock. Nice pick Carl Peterson, we're proud of you.
Today the KU Jayhawks absolutely destroyed the Nebraska Cornhuskers 76-39.
KU looks like the real deal. Their defense is usally fairly dominant, but they didn't have a good day. However, the offense more than picked up the slack, scoring on 10 straight possesssions. It would certainly be interesting to see what will happen if the Jayhawks win out.
If they do go undefeated and do not go to the BCS title game, it will be highway robbery.
I like a lot of the points here, especially how George W. Jackass took a shot at the Democratic governor of Louisana. Well George, if your homeboys at FEMA hadn't been so damn worthless, maybe the then-governor would not have been hung out to dry.
Palast also takes a swipe at Clinton and Gore in the article. Imagine if a Republican had done something like that, they would probably be kicked out of the party.
Barack Obama recently criticized Hillary Clinton, saying that she is running a "textbook" campaign.
I agree. Hillary is coming off like somewhat of a "robo-bitch" and giving calculated answers. Honestly, she seems to be running a Republican campaign, which means bullshit about everything but what really matters and rally everyone around bogus causes in order to draw attention away from the real problems.
If she came off like a human, she would be liked so much better.
Andrew Meyer, the University of Florida student who was tased for this comment during a John Kerry forum in September recently spoke out on Todayshow.com in an e-mail exchange about his experiences since the tasering and exaclty what his purpose was that day.
After seeing what happened, I thought maybe this kid was just an ass looking for attention, but he seems like a very well-spoken and smart person. Several of the points he brought up about the stories told about him and how Kerry won the election were very interesting.
Well, looks like Duane "Dog" Chapman has effectively ended his moment in the sun with a stream of racist slurs in a phone call to his son that was recorded.
Dog, what the hell are you doing, brah? I must admit, I loved this show when it first came out. I am extremely disappointed in the Dog, maybe if he cut his hair to repent the world can forgive him...or maybe not.
At least he can find comfort nuzzling his greasy mullet in between the big 'ole fake breasts of his wife, Beth. The white trash empire that was known as Dog the Bounty Hunter is over.
The Smith Center Redmen, a class 2A football power in Kansas, recently set a national record by scoring 72 points in the first quarter of their district matchup with Plainville.
This is insane. I don't really think you can call it running up the store, since all of this was done in the first quarter and you have to keep your kids sharp for the next game.
When I was a freshman in high school, former Smith Center and current New Orleans Saint Mark Simoneau played for them and this guy was an animal, but Smith Center was never that good.
One thing that bothered me is that I was watching ESPN this morning and they had the Redmen on their list of top 10 plays. After the highlights, the smart-ass commentators started asking if Smith Center was 8-man or 11-man, then one of them made a snide comment about where he came from they play 11-man. For the next 10 minutes, all they could bring up were former 8-man football players.
Well you know what jackass, you were probably never on a team good enough to hang 72-points on a team in the first quarter, were you...
...and by the way dipshit, Smith Center is 11-man.
