December 2007 Archives
A little girl that wrote an essay on why she deserved some Hannah Montana tickets started of with, "My Father was killed in Iraq". It was such a sad story, that she ended up winning!
Now, in the lastest sack of shit news of things parents will do, it turns out she was lying and her mother actually helped her perpetuate the lies.
What in the hell is wrong with people? Why would a parent teach their child that it is not wrong to do something like this?
I hope this lady lives the rest of her life in shame.
By the way, thank God my daughter is not old enough to like the Hannah Montana garbage.
The government had blamed extremist groups that operate near the Pakistan/Afghanistan border, but they won't take credit for it.
From what I have seen, when those crazy bastards pull one of their religious freak stunts they brag about it, not deny it.
The Pakastani government does not want help from any other nation as well. To me, this just screams foul. I'm not saying the government did it, just saying that it smells fishy.
I'm so glad I don't live in the Middle East. Those sons-a-bitches are just too damn crazy. Get a grip people, God is not all about you blowing yourself and other people to shit to prove a point. All you prove is that you're a crazy pile of camel dung.
This is a good article about how the writers' strike in Hollywood is helping out the gaming industry.
You would think the big-wigs in Hollywood would finally be willing to share the obscene amounts of money that they are making off of television with some of the people that actually make it happen, especially since it's been two months, but money is all-powerful.
I could care less, I'm just tired of not seeing any new Saturday Night Live episodes.
I hope Eileen Weir is wrong! In this article about the Kansas City Chiefs, Weir says that changes are unlikely.
I don't know about you, but watching Herm and Carl run this team into the ground is so exciting, I want to see another couple of years of it. Hell, we should be caught up in the hype of trying to be the first time since the 1970s to lose ALL of their games next year. Kind of like a "Road to Reverse Perfection."
If anybody I know can accomplish this, it's good old Herm Edwards and Carl Peterson.
News flash: college kids like to get shitfaced. This will always happen wherever you get young adults together-they will get wasted.
I did it, they probably did it 50 years ago, and they will do it 50 years from now. That's part of what college is about-finding your drinking limit, exceeding that limit, feeling like a jackass the next morning, then doing it all over again.
You grow out of it. People just need to let it go. The ones that die from drinking too much are just pissing in the gene pool anyways.
Between Britney's "parenting skills" and now having another baby in the family, the Spears family is having an interesting year.
Excellent article about the Chiefs by Jason Whitlock.
He has been right on about the Chiefs all year. I wish I could watch a game with this guy, he actually knows what the hell he's talking about.
Well, it looks like Kansas City Chiefs "head coach" Herm Edwards is at it again.
When you coach a proud franchise that is used to winning (especially at home) like the Chiefs, Herm, there are some things you probably shouldn't do when you suck shit so bad. Telling fans to "get over it" after your seventh straight loss is probably not too smart Herm.
Saying "it happens", is also not too damn smart. It makes you sound like you really don't think it's a big deal to have such a terrible record, which I honestly believe you don't.
If this is the cavalier, jackass, attitude you are going to have in your stint Mr. Edwards, we are probably better off if you just pack your shit and get the hell out of Kansas City.
Surprise, surprise, surprise, the Kansas City Chiefs blew it again on Sunday, this time losing to the Tennessee Titans.
This new makes seven games in a row the Chiefs have lost. Their home record (where they used to be untouchable) is the worst in 30 years. However, in my gut, I believe that the owners are not going to hold anyone accountable for this in the front office or coaching staff.
It's time for a change. There's a difference between being loyal to your staff and flat out being a dipshit and happy with mediocrity. Carl Peterson's 5-year Super Bowl plan is now going on Year 19. We need some new blood and we need it fast.
Herm, it's okay. Feel free to leave. Hell, in fact, I insist on it. Just don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out you stupid bastard.
in the article, Herm says that he has a "plan" in Kansas City and does not want to leave in the middle of it. What is your final product going to be Herm, a Chiefs team that does not win any games instead of four? You should try to get UCLA to hire King Carl as the Athletic Director there too, that way you can irreversibly screw them up together, just like you are doing to KC now.
Lord how I hate Herm Edwards.
Hulk Hogan was recently asked who he would like to see get their ass kicked on his new version of American Gladiators.
His answer (which warmed my heart): that stupid-ass, big-mouthed, fat pig Rosie O'Donnell.
Rosie O'Donnell should be forced to have her tongue amputated. The shit that she spews out of that big fat flapper is usually nonsense, unless she is just trying to cause trouble.
We get it Rosie: you are the tough, outspoken lesbian. But when you speak, just try to quit being a jackass.
Someone bought the Terminator T-800 Exoskeleton at an auction for $500,000 dollars.
On this site, I have made fun of a lot of purchases that people have made. However, this one would be sweet. I would give good money (not a half a mil though) to have people come in to my house and see the Terminator standing there in all of his metal, bad-ass glory.
I feel bad for the people that work graveyard, it would not be fun. First, you have to stay up all night and hear drunk dipshits, then to have the chance that one of them could kill you! F. that man.
These companies that are making billions off of this cheap labor could at least protect their ass. That's the way big business is and always will be though: corporate heads that have no idea what it's like for the little guy that actually do the work.
I honestly think every CEO of a company should be forced to work the most menial job in their company for a month. Maybe then their Gray Poupon asses wouldn't be so quick to implement crappy policies for their workers.
This article is so refreshing!!!! It's about how the Kansas City Royals are not just laying down and dying because they are a "small-market" team.
Dayton Moore, the general manager of the Royals, is doing a wonderful job of trying to change the culture of losing that has pervaded the team since the post-George Brett era. For so long, the Royals used the excuse that they were in a smaller market than Boston or New York to justify losing and did not go after any players.
Now, Moore is going after the big-name players and even signing a few. My hats off to the Royals, even though you are not the best right now, you have a GM that is trying to help you. Now if I could just say the same for the Kansas City Chiefs...
Bobby Petrino, former head coach of the Atlanta Falcons and the newly hired coach of the Arkansas Razorbacks, has not made any friends with his former players.
After basically quitting like a little pussy thirteen games into his first season of a huge-ass contract, Puss-Trino did not even have the cojones to tell the players face-to-face. He left them a little note that basically did not say shit.
When a team signs a contract with you, you need to honor that contract. Not bail like a little bitch.
Found this on a blog, this shit is pretty funny.
12 Days of Christmas-George W. Jackass Style!
To reiterate, to hell with Electronic Arts and Harmonix. Nine days ago, my wife and I purchased Rock Band, which is basically a spin-off of Guitar Hero but with drums and a microphone in addition to the guitar.
Day 1: The guitar worked fine and the game was awesome.
Day 2: The guitar started to double strum and sometimes not respond to a strum at all. Frustrated, I looked on several gaming sites to see if anyone else was having the same problem. To my suprise, a lot of people were. I visited EA's website and ordered a new guitar under warranty.
Days 3 through 7: Drummed like a mofo and waited for my new guitar.
Day 8: Received my guitar via ups, started playing again and sent my old one back.
Day 9: Wife realizes that guitar will not activate overdrive (basically like star power in GH)
Day 10: Call in to EA to try to get some compensation and order a new guitar. Told that a supervisor is not on duty to talk to and given a UPS tracking number for guitar number three. Also promised a call from a supervisor the next day.
Day 11: No call from a supervisor. Try to track my order on UPS, does not come up. Call in to EA to see what is going on, order has been cancelled for some odd reason that they cannot explain. Get a new tracking number, then transferred to a supervisor. The supervisor was a very, very rude little bitch who offers me a $20 coupon. I decline, asking for a free game since we spent 170 on a piece of shit that has not worked since we got it. Lady continues to be a bitch, no free game. Offer bitch a Merry Christmas. Call over. Immediately e-mail EA to let them know how pissed I am.
Day 12: Waiting on a response.
I have loved EA games since the days of the Super Nintendo. I buy NCAA Football and Madden every year for every system that I have had, but now I am super-pissed. I am going to boycott EA games because I feel it is totally irresponsible to send out a piece of shit game, then when two guitars go defective to not do a damn thing about it. I would encourage all of you readers out there to do the same. Irresponsibility should not be tolerated.
I remember first hearing UGK on the Menace II Society soundrack, then they resurfaced in 2000 when they appeared on Big Pimpin'.
This is too bad. He had a pretty cool sounding voice. Wonder if the police will figure out what happened.
Right now, crackheads everywhere are rejoicing. Under bridges in metropolitan cities, it sounds like someone just put milk in the biggest bowl of Rice Krispies ever. People are walking the streets with yellow eyes and chapped lips and a little bit of a swagger that they just didn't used to have. Now if they get caught with their drug of choice, they will only go to federal-pound-me-in-the-ass prison for 15 years, not 20.
Well, my Kansas City Chiefs got their asses completely mauled by the Denver Donkeys on Sunday.
Damn, they suck. They really, really, really suck. They take being a crappy team and make it an art form. If your team is having some hard times and really needs a win, bring in the m'f'n Chiefs, shit, it's a guaranteed win.
They didn't just lose to Denver, it was an embarrassment on both sides of the ball. The defense has more holes than Spongebob Squarepants and their offensive line couldn't block a damn high school team's defense. I saw Chris Terry (what a worthless fatass) pretty much do his best impression of a New York subway turnstile Sunday.
This is going to be a long four weeks. I don't think we'll win another game. I'm already looking forward to the draft in April, but we'll see how King Carl and Herm can do. The last couple of drafts have been alright, but hey man, it's the Chiefs, they'll find some way to screw it up a la Ryan Sims, a defensive tackle that we took back in the day that did exactly jack fricking squat.
I don't know what's worse, having my team suck or having to hear those smug asshole Broncos fans for a year.
Ok, there was a tragedy in Omaha. A kid shot up a mall. Why are news outlets releasing pictures of this shit?
Before the incident, he said that now he would be famous. Why does the news media glorify this by releasing pictures of this kid and showing him getting ready to bust caps into a crowd of innocent people? I'll tell you why, because as a whole, we are some sick bastards. We like to see things like this because we want it to seem more "real".
Basically, what I think should happen is bare bones reporting. Just say what happened, do not give the name of the kids that do this crap, and let it go. Do not give them the glory they are so desperately lacking in their lives. This will probably not stop it all, but it could prevent even one crime like this.
This has been an announcement from my soapbox moment of the day.
I am not sold on this at all. Pelini may be a good coach, and maybe he will be the next Osborne (I highly doubt it though), but Turner Gill should have been the choice here. He has done a very good job at Buffalo, taking a crap team and leading them to five wins, and I think he has a better way with the players.
Good luck Bo, I hope you do well, but be ready for criticism. And run the damn option.
An old lady was convicted of fraud and sentenced to 20 days in the clink for charging a man over $1,200 to remove a curse from him.
They first met when he gave her some cookies. In return she would tell his fortune if he brought her the money, as well as a plate, a spoon, an egg, his underwear and a bottle of urine.
Hmmm, think something is fishy here? Then, while telling his fortune, she told him he would die in his sleep if he did not pay her $12,000 this time for "magical protection."
Why would you sue over this and have your name in the paper! My God, I want everyone to know that I brought some dirty skivvies and a bottle of piss to an old woman in order to have my fortune told. Just another idiot.
Police say the gunman was recently fired from his job and split up with his girlfriend.
That is a terrible week to go through when you are 19 years old, but that is no damn excuse to go and take innocent people's lives. The teenage years are always hard, but they get better. No one should be so depressed they take a gun and kill innocent people.
I feel sorry for all of the deceased, but especially the people that were working a shitty department store job that got killed. Retail sucks anyways, let alone living in fear that someone is going to kill you for no reason at a job you more than likely hate.
Southern California gypsys are in a "turf war" over fortune telling in SoCal.
Now, instead of following the gypsy code of handling their business in-house, they are going to court. A lot of the old-school gypsies are freaking out now because they do not want the world to know about the secret workings of their little gypsy world.
Oh, you silly gypsies. I've seen The Riches. I know what you gypsies do. You travel, you steal. I think that pretty much sums it up. Hope no gypsies get this, then I might get the dreaded gypsy curse.
A 16-year old Salina boy is being charged with sexually assaulting an 8-year-old girl. This story is absolutely heartbreaking.
Being the father of a 3-year-old girl, if this happened to my child, it would be very hard not to take justice into my own hands and save the taxpayers money by capping this fool. But then again, child molesters always get theirs when it comes to jail time.
The sad thing about this is it happens more than people think. There are just some sick-ass people in the world.
Police recently seized 2 tons of pot from a grocery store that was waiting to be shipped to Atlanta and delivered to assorted bongs and pipes of dirty, smelly hippies.
Police caught them just before dawn as they were loading bales into a van. They then searched the store. How would you try to explain away two tons of an illegal drug in your store? "Umm, it just came on our regular grocery truck. We thought it was an exotic spice. The shit's just been flying off of the shelves."
Some idiot in Italy just spent $330,000 in an auction to win a white truffle. A truffle. A truffle. A truffle.
Why would you spend 1/3 of one million dollars in order to buy a damn underground mushroom? Wait, wait...I'm so silly. It wasn't a truffle. It was a 3.3 pound white truffle. Now it makes complete sense. The white truffles are valued higher because they make food smell and taste better.
Well folks, I am just plan-ass wrong here. If a white truffle makes my food smell and taste better, shit, $330,000 is a small price to pay for it not to smell or taste bad. At least the money went to charity. But still, this is ridiculous, just donate the money instead of having your name attached to this. Well, at least this guy's food is going to smell better, DAMMIT!!!!!
...hunker down in West Virginia with our dumb asses and wait for the cops to catch us. A man and his girlfriend robbed the ATM company that he worked for, getting away with 7 million dollars.
Everyone fantasizes about robbing their employers (especially if they are a corporation of jackasses like the one I work for) and sticking to them. However, in all of my fantasys, I bounce to Jamaica or a resort town in Mexico, somewhere like that. Why would you stay in the United States? You stole $7,000,000. THEY WILL FIND YOUR ASS. Find a place with no extradition and live it up. Of course, I will never do this. The whole prison-anal-rape thing just wigs me out a little bit. I'm going to keep myself pure.
