January 2008 Archives

Two Michigan teens, one 15 and the other 13, decided to run away together.

I'm sure this is nothing but a crackhead Gone With the Wind, where two high school outcasts decided that mommy and daddy and their classmates, and well, shit, I guess the whole world, just doesn't understand them.

So they do the only thing they can...they steal the boy's mom's van and split to Colorado or California, of course taking the boy's cocker spaniel (it's the only thing that loves them in this crazy world!). They also left with $680 cash, clothes, food, and (above all) the little punkass's XBox 360.

Guess what pal, the XBox is not going to do shit for you since (A) you will have no television (B) You will not be able to find a place to live; therefore, no electricity and no XBox 360.

He will be pimping out his bitch by the end of the week to LA perverts just to eat and afford to rent a nice lot where that fool can put his carboard box.

A Polish guy was visiting a brothel and spotted his wife at work there.

No, this is not the start of a dumb Pollack joke. This is true, and also wrong on all angles. For Christ's sake, I wonder what went through this guy's head when he saw here there.

Thought number one, "Oh shit, how did she know I would be here?"

Thought two, "That f'ing whore...oh shit, but I'm in a whorehouse to get some action on the side too."

Thought three, "Well, I wondered how she bought me all of that cool stuff."

Thought four, "Won't be paying to do the nasty with that one. Hell, I get it for free from her, why would I pay? I'll take the blonde"

Needless to say, the couple is getting a divorce. Silly Polish bastards.

The Atlanta Falcons are intersted in USC coach Pete Carroll.

I am telling you right now Pete, don't do it. You have the life man. You get to live in LA, where you are a freaking celebrity. LA is the land of the coolest m'f'ers on the planet. You have more NFL caliber talent right now on your college roster than you would with the Atlanta Falcons.

Don't do it Pete. No matter how much money they offer you or how much power, it is not worth it. IT IS NOT WORTH IT!!!!!!

Well, the pundits can no longer say that KU has not played anyone. Tonight, they beat the Virginia Tech Hokies to improve to 12-1, capping one hell of a season.

Now, I have to ask: If LSU beats Ohio State (or even if Ohio State wins) does KU deserve a share of the national title?

I think so. They got through a crazy season with only one loss (to a Missouri team that beat the dog piss out of Arkansas, who actually beat LSU).

Ohio State plays in the Big Ten, and I really don't feel that their schedule was any harder than KU's. Has anyone seen what the Big 12 did this year in bowls? Except for Oklahoma laying an egg against West Virginia, they've done pretty well.

So this judge in Tennessee is a sick bastard. He gets off on some weird torture stuff; it's what turns him on sexually. The guy's a sexual deviant.

Being a judge and all, he probably shouldn't let something like that out in the public. So what's the smartest thing a public figure can do? Oh. Of course, how silly of me. Instead of being a sick perv in private, make a tape of it and then somehow let it get leaked to other people.

This guy is so f'd up in the head that a person gave police a copy of the tape and thought it could be connected to an unsolved murder. Seriously guys, they said this shit was so twisted that no human being should ever listen to it.

The judge resigned. Bet he's on his way to find a dominatrix right now. Or to become a serial killer.

So a guy that works at McDonald's and is on food stamps found a $185,000 check. Instead of doing what probably 75 percent of what most people would do and cash that bitch then live like a fat rat, he did the honest thing and returned it.

What does somebody get for a reward for saving someone all of that money? A goddamn $50 bill from the niece of a landlord to whom the check was written.

That is some selfish crap right there. A guy just returned you $185,000, not a wedding ring. But you'll slip him a slick $50 bill because you think you're being generous.

This McDonald's guy just built up a buttload of goodwill in the karma department.

I got a text from my buddy today saying the Chiefs had fired Mike Solari and three other coaches. I was all excited, I think Solari has been worthless.

However, after reading this article from the Kansas City Star's website, I am just getting more and more pissed off.

What in the hell would possess that dipshit Herm Edwards to recycle Paul Hacket as our damn offensive coordinator? Good God, that would be incredibly stupid.

Maybe some don't remember, but I watched the Chiefs several years ago when Hackett was their coordinator, and the offense was SHITTY back then. It was the whole "West Coast Offense" experience that produced stalwarts like Steve Bono and Elvis Grbac (maybe the biggest pussy every to strap on cleats-well, next to Chris Terry).

This would be an absolutely huge mistake. I honestly hate Herm Edwards and Carl Peterson with the passion of a million hells, and it will only get worse if they hire Hackett.

What kind of sense will it make to have offensive and defensive coordinators (Gunther "my teams cannot stop the run" Cunningham" from the past who NEVER WON EVEN BACK THEN? What in the hell do they expect to be different this time?

Sometimes I think about divorcing the Chiefs and finding a different team, but I just can't. I am cursed to be a fan of losers and it doesn't look like things are going to change any time soon.